I remember every single detail of the day that I met Adam. It was towards the end of summer when I was starting my third year of college. The sun pierced through my window panes and onto my then closed eyelids. The pain on my eyes from the sunlight was a sign that I had to get up to start my day. But, to tell you the truth, my day started out crappy. I was awake for a good 2 minutes before my alarm went off and it was at that moment that I just knew I wasn't in the mood to get up. But being "Susie College", I pulled my lazy ass out of bed and rubbed off the drool that was encrusted on my chin. I drool a lot. Even when I'm fully awake and working through my day. In addition to it being pretty gross, it ruins my daily schedule as well as my social life...well that's what I like to believe anyway. Once I finished de-drooling my mouth, I got dressed and drove the 1 hour and 30 minute commute it takes to get to Verona.
I pulled up into the cold dull walls of our parking structure, which by the way was where I met Adam. I was walking down the rows of cars when I tripped on my own shoe--in addition to having large salivary glands, I'm also probably the clumsiest person on the face of this earth. Then to my luck, Adam was just getting out of his car.
"Oh my God! Are you okay?" Adam asked with a sense of shock in his voice.
"Yeah, yeah, I guess I should watch out next time...." I said looking around as if some stranger came, tripped me and ran away.
"What'd you tripped on?" he asked looking around concerned.
"Uhmm...my....shoe," I responded embarrassingly.
Adam's face lit up.
"Well, yeah I guess you should watch out for your shoes next time then, I hear they could be tricky sons of a bitches," he said still smiling.
Thoroughly embarrassed with myself I took a quick glance at him and smiled. I wanted to leave badly. Any other girl would stay and talk with him and most likely flirt back. Sadly flirting or even talking to boys is just not my forte. I pushed myself up off the cold cement, grabbed my books and was getting ready to walk away.
"Hey, why are you in such a rush?" he asked with a raised voice as I was walking away.
"I, uh, have to get to class! I'm gonna to be really late!"
My head was turned in his direction but my eyes were pointed straight ahead. "I'm sorry, but thanks a lot for helping me! Have a nice life!" I said as I walked out the door.
'Have a nice life?!' What the fuck was that Eva? You couldn't even say 'have a nice day'? Good Lord, I probably came off as a huge douche bag. God, ok get over it, Verona University is a ridiculously large campus. I'm probably never going to see him again. If I do, I am so taking "have a nice life" out of my vocabulary. Ok, I'm over it.
I didn't actually have to leave to class. I wasn't even close to being late. I was about 2 hours early. I guess I was just scared off by the rush of talking to a man as nice and beautiful as Adam. I could tell God took time making him. And I know I said I was 'over it', but truth is, I was still obsessing about it while I was walking to the computer lab. I finally opened up my Biochem book to get my mind off of the situation. Surprisingly, I was the only one in the computer lab. I say 'surprisingly' because there's usually some nerd in the corner playing anime video games.
I lounged on one of the couches in the lab when, twenty minutes into my reading, I noticed someone else was coming in. The thin cellophane on the double doors made it hard to distinguish who was about to open it. I saw a head covered in dark brown hair peak through the doors and then the head turned and looked my way.
Holy shit
It was Adam. Trying to be 'slick', I pulled the book up to try and cover my face.
It didn't work.
"HEY!" he said with his luscious voice.
I was still covering my face.
"I know it's you, you really suck at hiding. You look like you're suffocating yourself in your book," he said letting off a slight laugh.
"OH HI! I didn't see you. I mean, hear you. No, I meant see you."
You are such an idiot, Eva
My butt was suddenly lifted by the cushion due to the fact that Adam had sat next to me. We were sitting on a love seat -- ah, the irony.
"I thought you had to go to class? Did you lie to me?" he asked pretending to look hurt.
"A little bit..." I responded, still staring at my book the whole time.
"I hope you know lying's bad for your health"
I let out a snort and smiled. My eyes finally tore away from the book and looked into his eyes.
"Finally you look at me, I was starting to think I had a booger in my nose or something..." he said.
"I'm Adam by the way.” He held out his hand.
"Eva"
"Huh...'Adam and Eva', that's quiet a coincidence isn't it?" he said.
"I have to pee," I blurted out, totally killing the moment.
Adam laughed and said he had to get to class. He asked for my number, which caught me off guard. The only time I ever gave my number to a guy was when we did group projects. But when Adam asked for it I didn't think to hesitate.
Throughout the semester Adam and I had gone out to lunches with each other and hung out between classes. Between the both of us he was the most talkative. He always asked weird and random questions that made you think twice about how sane he really was. But, in spite of that, I began to get comfortable around him and I finally broke out of my shell and realized that talking to Adam was easy.
One day we were walking down the deserted track field late in the afternoon when he asked me the most insane question I had ever heard.
"Do you think the world is going to end?" he asked with a serious tone
"Uh, no. The world is a big circle. Circles never end, they just keep going round and round an--"
"No seriously," he responded, cutting me off "you don't ever think that God might come and there might be a sort of judgment day?"
"No, because I don't believe in those theories. I think it's all bullshit. It seems like the media is trying to syndicate my life with all of that hoo ha. The thought of Global Warming makes me laugh, and don't even get me started on Pryus's and Hybrid's--" I stopped mid-sentence and realized that Adam drove a Hybrid.
"Well, no offense to you, if that's what you believe in then power to ya," I quickly responded, hoping to erase my verbal mistake.
"You honestly don't think that there’s the slightest chance that the world might end?" he asked, ignoring my previous statement.
"Honestly, no. Are you one of those super religious people? Is that why you're asking me this?"
"No, I just noticed you've lost faith...a little bit" he said looking down at his feet as if he knew what he was saying was completely ridiculous.
"How do you know if I've lost faith or not. And why are we talking about this?"
"God noticed you lost faith, too" he said
At that moment, I thought he was going to hand me a flier with a picture of Jesus on it.
"What does faith have to do with this conversation, I thought you were talking about a cataclysmic event, not some spiritual uplifting..." I snapped back.
"If you had faith, you wouldn't be giving me attitude and snapping back, I'm just saying that you've lost faith, and you of all people cannot lose faith. God notices when people lose touch with their spirituality; he especially notices if YOU lose faith in him. I mean, don't you get it by now...you're a chosen one," he said with a straightforward tone.
This time I couldn't tell if he was bullshitting me.
"'Chosen one'? What the fuck are you talking about, I'm not even Jewish! I don't even know what you’re leading on to. This conversation is really getting me off edge," I responded "can we please change the subject?"
"You're losing faith, Eva, at a great pace too. God is upset and of all people, He doesn't want you to lose faith."
"What are you talking about? Please elaborate because my brain is starting to hurt"
"GOD Eva, I can't believe you're not connecting the dots. I'm Adam. God sent me here to reinstate your faith. He knows that you've lost it ever since your mom died. But I'm here to help you."
I stopped cold in the middle of the track field. Adam told me to sit down and let it all absorb. The cold metal from the bleachers touched my skin and sent a shock through me, but it was no comparison to the shock I was going through at that moment. I didn't understand, as close as Adam and I had gotten over the past few weeks, I never told him about my mothers death and my loss of faith as a result of it. How did he know? I thought it was some sort of cruel joke.
"Look, I know this is a lot to take in..."
No shit
"but we're running out of time," Adam said pointedly.
"What do you mean 'running out of time'?"
"The world is going to end soon, and if you don't gain your faith back, you can't come back with me. I want you to come back with me," he said staring at me with anxious eyes.
"Come back with you where?! You're not being clear at all. How do you know the world is going to end, and where are we going?" I asked with an enraged and demanding tone in my voice.
"God is finally giving me redemption. If I save you, we both get to go back to Eden. You're my Eve"
"But my name's Eva”
"Now you're Eva, but in your past life you were Eve. And now God is predicting that you are going to sin, and I have to save you before you do anything. Before the world ends and it's too late.
I was caught in a state of doubt. What if Adam was lying to me? But then again, why would anyone lie about something like this. I took a deep breath and shot Adam a look of skepticism.
"I'm not lying to you," Adam said without hesitation. "I can see the doubt in your eyes, you think I'm feeding you bullshit, but I'm not."
"Prove it"
He let out a slight sigh and pulled up his shirt. I couldn't believe it. He didn't have a belly button. I waited a moment, hoping that play dough would fall out of his naval, but nothing fell out.
"Holy shit, you're Adam" I stated in pure amazement
"If you want to state the obvious, then yeah I am," he said amused at my shock.
"Look, you could choose to stay here and play out the rest of your life and end up sinning, or you could regain your faith in God and spend the rest of eternity with me in Eden. It's that easy," he said.
"Easy?! Who said any of this was easy? You're asking me to decide on whether or not I should leave my family and friends and go with you...That isn't easy!" I said screaming at him. "You're also asking me to regain faith in God, which is something I find very hard to do right now seeing how I recently lost my mom. How can I have faith in someone that took the one person I loved away from me?"
"Because that's the way life works. Life, as mean as this may sound, isn't pretty. Wars happen, poverty is inevitable, and people die. That’s just how life is. You're parents can't live forever, and neither can you...unless you come with me to Eden. Don't you want that?" he asked with an eager tone.
"How do I know you're not doing this just so you get to go to Eden. How do I know you're not doing this out of your own selfishness?"
"Because I know you and everything you've been through. You deserve this."
I felt like I was on the verge of crying. I looked around trying to avoid any eye contact with Adam. Instead I looked down at the grass.
"I...can't. I have too much to live for. If God does exist, then he should understand that"
"You're telling me that you would give up Eden for the life you're living right now?"
I nodded.
"Are you sure you want this? Because I can't come back if you change your mind. I only have one shot at this."
"I'm positive”
At that moment a tear strolled down Adam’s cheek. He knew he failed at his attempt to reinstate my faith.
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3 comments:
What happens to Eva and Adam? WHAT HAPPENS TO EVA AND ADAM!!!!???
this is really good lisa!!! no kidding, i'm not saying this cuz you're my friend..at first i was like, ooh this is different with the first person and all (is that what its called??? ) anywho, but then it totally just continues onto awesomeness... i really like it.. BUT WHAT HAPPENS!??!?!
please tell me when you continue :)
WOOOO!!! Im so glad i found time to read it dude! You left me at a cliff hanger with that "ending"...or where it left off....ok here are my comments starting with like grammar and stuff:
- change "a wake" to "awake"
- when describing the sunlight coming in through the window panes you mention eyelids twice in two diff. sentences...i feel like you can describe this a lot better...call me if im not making sense =)
- change "most clumsiest" to "most clumsy" or "clumsiest"...if it was meant to be intentional, i feel like the fact that its in first person takes the reader out of the "zone" of the story b/c they notice the "mistake"
-change "rubbed the drool off that..." to "rubbed off the drool that"
-Eva says "Good lord" in one part...lord should be capitalized unless its intentional in showing her loss of faith, in which case i feel like you should emphasize this more by having the following sentence which starts with "God" start differently and maybe lowercase God...that's just one idea...ummm ill try to think of more...im just trying to type as fast as i can....have class at 1:15 =)
-there's one sentence that says, "In all honesty, didn't..." might want to put, "...I didn't".
-the part where you its like "there's some nerdS"...change to "there's some nerd"
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ok, now to the story line....i feel like the beginning of the story is a little bit slow...i feel like we can find out a bit more about Eva by having a more gathered beginning rather than snippets of info that she reflects on...like what is mentioned is really good, i just feel like you can make it flow more with good transitions or even maybe taking some out......
...also, at some point i feel like it starts to get really chick flicky, until it reaches the point where Adam flips and starts questioning her faith which is a part I LOVE and it totally got me into the story....you may want to grab your reader just a bit more in the beginning by making the "meeting Adam" situation a bit unique while still preserving a part of typical "i just met a cute guy" stories in order to make it totally contrast once you introduce the "Ummph!" of your story with the "im Adam, your Eve" part....
-as to where your going with the story......that is all on you....i feel like your style will make it good, i just want you to have the confidence to totally make it unpredictable...i feel like you might be denying yourself of your own creativity by thinking that, quote, "my story is really weird"......and honestly its not...i find it VERY intriguing and i feel like its thanks to the elements which you might be judging as "wierd".....honestly, i feel like you should imagine your story being played out in your head like your own little movie and let the freedom of your ideas and instincts write if for you....anywho, im really excited to read what you'll have happen to Adam, Eve, and the world....have the confidence I know you have and don't try to mimic what has already been done by other stories because you'd be depriving yourself of your "God-given talent"...hehehe...look who hasn't lost faith!!!! anywho, i faith in your abilities so all i ask is that you WOW me by letting your ideas flow and not question your instincts....love you mwahs!
LEEEEEEEZE! ok so i read through it and i think that its a very good outline for a longer story...i'm not sure about the guidelines for the assingment and if you are supposed to create some sort of pilot story for something greater or if your short story is supposed to be phenomenally great on its own (which is tuff considering the length limit)...anywho...as a part of a bigger picture it is fabulous...if it needs to hold its own by itself i feel as though your climactic moment was great in the sense that it felt like a sort of fast-paced decision making moment, but i feel that Eva's decision was made very rashly without much dramatic effect or reasoning/explanation for it. It sort of felt cutoff and i was left thinking, damn that's it.....oh and also the ultimatum that Adam poses about her simply having to go with him to Eden and she gets the ability to live forever seems too simple to me...i feel like maybe Adam should have to work to reinstate her faith here on Earth and make her genuinely believe in God in order to get to Eden.....i like the fact that Eva's attitude throughout the story remains "consistent" in the sense that her subdued edgy character is evident in her decision....i feel like this should be played up a little in her rationalization of rejecting Adam....ummmmm....yea, just call me so i can explain better...right now im loving it, i just think it would be good to amplify it....but still, i think it would be good to have other ppl read it as well and give you there opinion cuz this is only mine....i dont want you to just write for me...i want you to write for the world...(now how dramatically beautiful was that!!???, ;) )
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