Sugar Mama

Steven was thirty minutes into his sleep when he first heard the noise outside his window. When Steven heard the thump, he automatically propped up from his bed and looked around. He was always afraid of the dark. His hands ran over the bedsheets in the darkness searching for Mr. Huggies, his favorite teddy bear. Once he felt the soft cotton feeling of Mr. Huggies arm, Steven pulled the bear close to his chest and squeezed it hard, as if squeezing the bear would get rid of his fear. He suddenly heard another noise, not that of an object hitting the wall like the previous noise, but instead he heard a voice.

"Psst...open up!" said the voice.

"Wh-wh-who's there?" Steven nervously asked.

"Shut up and just open the window! You're window was always open before, and now you choose to close it?! Come on I've got something for ya!"

"But I don't know you! And I don't know where you are! I can't even see you!"

The voice sighed

"Jeeze Louise...do you see the tiny pink light outside your window?"

"yeah..."

"That's me! Open up!"

Steven sat in shock. He wondered if that was the boogeyman that his best friend Kyle told him about. But he remembered that Kyle said the boogeyman was a man and that he was big. But this thing was tiny and from the sound of the voice it sounded like a girl.
Steven wondered if she was the boogeyman's assistant and if she could still hurt him and take him away to boogeyman land. But the longer Steven looked at the size of the thing outside his window, he figured it couldn't do much damage to him.

Steven edged his way out of bed and walked towards the window. He lifted the lower portion of the window and stuck his head out.

"Took ya long enough" it said.

"Are you the boogeyman? Because if you are, then Kyle really sucks at explaining things," Steven said.

"Your friend Kyle sucks at a lot of things. That's why he'll never amount to anything. Anywho, I'm here to pick something up ..." it said shaking a surprisingly large bag in front of Steven's face.

Steven looked at the small floating thing in front of him. He noticed that it was a tiny girl in pink tights and that she was holding a wand in the shape of a weird rock. She also had tiny wings on her shoulder blades. He also noticed that she was wearing too much makeup on her face.

"If you're here for the marbles I won, then you're too late, my mom took them away"

"Marbles? Who said anything about marbles? Marbles are useless, I want your teeth," the tiny girl said holding her hand out as if Steven were just going to hand them to her.

Steven clasped his hands around his mouth.

"Ugh, no, I'm not going to pull them out of your mouth," the small girl said.

This kid might be just as stupid as that kid Kyle next door.

Steven's shoulders loosened up and his hands dropped from his mouth.

"Oh," he said letting out a sigh of relief.

Bakersfield, California was a strange land. Eight year old child named Steven Hoffman knew this but, since he was a child he had that ignorance of youth so he assumed thats how all cities were. Steven was your typical eight year old--he played in the mud with his male stereotyped toys, ate like an animal at the dinner table, and ate candy every chance he got-- despite his mothers wishes. Steven believed that she was bossy, even though he didn't exactly know what the word meant. He just heard his father call her that once when they had one of their fights. From then on Steven had the idea instilled in his mind that his mother was "bossy".

It was a cool autumn morning and Steven was laying across his living room carpet watching his Saturday morning cartoons and eating candy. Steven watched in amazement as his favorite super hero Superman flew across the television screen to save another helpless citizen. But just as Steven began to move up from his sloth-like position in excitement, Superman came encounter with kryptonite. Steven horrifically looked down at the pile of candy next to him. It was at that moment that Steven came to the realization that candy was his kryptonite.

"oh man," Steven said panic-stricken but still chewing the candy in his mouth.

"STEVEN!" his mother screamed at him while walking into the living room. This made Steven briefly look away from the television. When he realized it was just his mother, he returned his gaze to the television.

"Where on earth did you get all of these sugar sticks!"

"Dad," Steven responded carelessly with his eyes locked on to the television screen

His mother's face filled with rage. She couldn't believe that his own father contradicted her rules. She marched to the telephone in the kitchen. She accidentally knocked over the mail on the coffee table, but she was too enraged to notice or even care.

"Mr. Hoffman's office, this is Alicia, how may I assist you today?"

"I'd like to speak to Johnathan...NOW"

"Please Mrs. Hoffman, you don't have to yell..." Johnathan's secretary responded

"Don't give me etiquette tips you whore. If anything I should be the one giving you etiquette tips...stealing people's husbands and taking them away from their children."

"I'm transferring you to Johnathan now," his secretary said nervously.

"Good, at least I know you can do one productive thing..."

There was a click and soft classical music came on.

That bastard has the nerve to disobey the rules I set in my home. He has no right, NO RIGHT to do that. What is it with him? Does he want Steven to grow up to be a typical American obese man just like his father? Good God, I can't even imagine it.

the expense of happiness

i just had an epiphany today...while i was in the bathroom (where most of my epiphany's occur)that had to do with the topic of happiness.
How many of us are actually truly happy with our lives? I'm not talking about one portion of our lives like our work or school place, but our entire life in general. Sure we have temporary moments of contentment but the operative word in this sentence is 'temporary'. After that, everything just fades away. We get A's on our tests and we become happy. But we strive for something more and if we fail we automatically think that there is something wrong with us. This made me lead on to wonder, is it society or our own personal goals that make us feel this way? And of course there's the idea of becoming rich or having a stable job, but money can only go so far. I'm starting to question whether or not being happy with ones self for a good amount of time is actually achievable. I've been on this earth for approximately 19 years and I have never once met one person that was happy with who they were as a person or with what they were doing in life.
We all dislike something about ourselves. Be it physical features or the internal problems we have. By the end of the day, we just look at ourselves in the mirror and feel a tinge of disappointment. And what's worse is that the slight disappointment you feel you have with yourself, suddenly is the only thing that is on your mind. It blocks out any feelings of happiness you had with yourself previously, and you soon become enveloped in your disappointment, thus feeding your disappointment with attention just like a mother feeds her baby. But we can't help it. It's human nature that makes us this way.
I always wondered if people weren't constantly judged by society, would it make any difference on how easy it would be to achieve personal happiness. To not let any other outside source cloud your judgment on yourself. Which brings me back to my previous point -- is it society that gets in our way? I personally have tried my best to not let anyone's judgment affect how i live my life. And honestly, i feel lost without it. Maybe I've been told where to go in life one too many times to the point where if left alone, i can't even figure out what i want myself. And to tell you the truth, I can't see myself being happy either way. I can't see myself getting married and having a family. I just see my future self being way too passionate about my work and living in a one bedroom apartment in a busy city somewhere. But that still leaves me with a blank on whether or not I'd end up being happy.

Cheap Date

Steven smiled in amazement at the girl standing across from him.
"That was awesome," he said, "now how much do I owe ya?"

Stacy wiped the sweat off her forehead. It was a tough job.
"Forget about it, you don't owe me anything."

Steven gave her a serious look.
"Are you serious?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?" she said, smiling at him.
"but....why?"
"because it's rare that I get a customer as cute and sweet as you. all of my other previous customers were soul-less assholes, but I know you, and I think you're a one of a kind gem."
Stacy winked at him and reached for a hand towel to clean her hands up.

"at least let me tip you, I mean you did one hell of a job for me, I've been needin' that for a while now," Steven insisted.

"If ya wanna tip me hunny, then take me out to dinner...I'm starvin' after doin all that work...plus I hardly get to leave this place," she said with a sigh.

"You hardly get to leave? I thought you had would have a free schedule, you know, considering where you work..." he said looking around the dilapidated room, "who's your boss?"

"My daddy"
"Phew, if your dad is your boss, I would assume you get to go out as much as you'd like" Steven said.
"That's what you think. But we need the money...So you gonna take me out for that dinner or what? I'm not askin' for anything extravagant, just somethin' from the near by diner. Are we goin or not?" she asked with fake demand.

"Are you sure your dad won't mind? I don't want you to get in trouble..."

"Nah, he's busy with his own work right now. Come on before it gets too dark out," she said, reaching for his hand.

Steven was hesitant to hold her hand, seeing how he barely met her hours earlier. But he couldn't resist that beautiful smile. He lifted his arm and grabbed her hand. They walked towards the diner that was one mile away. Steven noticed that Stacy's hands were slippery.

"Oh, it must have been from all that lube she used," he thought to himself,"that girl's sure got the skills for fixin' cars. Her daddy sure did teach her well."


As the sun lowered down the horizon, Stacy's father turned on the lights on his store sign that read, "Albert & Stacy Mechanics: We're Here to Service Your Car 24 Hours, Rain or Shine"

Rotten Apples

I remember every single detail of the day that I met Adam. It was towards the end of summer when I was starting my third year of college. The sun pierced through my window panes and onto my then closed eyelids. The pain on my eyes from the sunlight was a sign that I had to get up to start my day. But, to tell you the truth, my day started out crappy. I was awake for a good 2 minutes before my alarm went off and it was at that moment that I just knew I wasn't in the mood to get up. But being "Susie College", I pulled my lazy ass out of bed and rubbed off the drool that was encrusted on my chin. I drool a lot. Even when I'm fully awake and working through my day. In addition to it being pretty gross, it ruins my daily schedule as well as my social life...well that's what I like to believe anyway. Once I finished de-drooling my mouth, I got dressed and drove the 1 hour and 30 minute commute it takes to get to Verona.

I pulled up into the cold dull walls of our parking structure, which by the way was where I met Adam. I was walking down the rows of cars when I tripped on my own shoe--in addition to having large salivary glands, I'm also probably the clumsiest person on the face of this earth. Then to my luck, Adam was just getting out of his car.

"Oh my God! Are you okay?" Adam asked with a sense of shock in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess I should watch out next time...." I said looking around as if some stranger came, tripped me and ran away.

"What'd you tripped on?" he asked looking around concerned.

"Uhmm...my....shoe," I responded embarrassingly.

Adam's face lit up.

"Well, yeah I guess you should watch out for your shoes next time then, I hear they could be tricky sons of a bitches," he said still smiling.

Thoroughly embarrassed with myself I took a quick glance at him and smiled. I wanted to leave badly. Any other girl would stay and talk with him and most likely flirt back. Sadly flirting or even talking to boys is just not my forte. I pushed myself up off the cold cement, grabbed my books and was getting ready to walk away.

"Hey, why are you in such a rush?" he asked with a raised voice as I was walking away.

"I, uh, have to get to class! I'm gonna to be really late!"
My head was turned in his direction but my eyes were pointed straight ahead. "I'm sorry, but thanks a lot for helping me! Have a nice life!" I said as I walked out the door.

'Have a nice life?!' What the fuck was that Eva? You couldn't even say 'have a nice day'? Good Lord, I probably came off as a huge douche bag. God, ok get over it, Verona University is a ridiculously large campus. I'm probably never going to see him again. If I do, I am so taking "have a nice life" out of my vocabulary. Ok, I'm over it.


I didn't actually have to leave to class. I wasn't even close to being late. I was about 2 hours early. I guess I was just scared off by the rush of talking to a man as nice and beautiful as Adam. I could tell God took time making him. And I know I said I was 'over it', but truth is, I was still obsessing about it while I was walking to the computer lab. I finally opened up my Biochem book to get my mind off of the situation. Surprisingly, I was the only one in the computer lab. I say 'surprisingly' because there's usually some nerd in the corner playing anime video games.
I lounged on one of the couches in the lab when, twenty minutes into my reading, I noticed someone else was coming in. The thin cellophane on the double doors made it hard to distinguish who was about to open it. I saw a head covered in dark brown hair peak through the doors and then the head turned and looked my way.

Holy shit

It was Adam. Trying to be 'slick', I pulled the book up to try and cover my face.
It didn't work.

"HEY!" he said with his luscious voice.

I was still covering my face.

"I know it's you, you really suck at hiding. You look like you're suffocating yourself in your book," he said letting off a slight laugh.

"OH HI! I didn't see you. I mean, hear you. No, I meant see you."

You are such an idiot, Eva

My butt was suddenly lifted by the cushion due to the fact that Adam had sat next to me. We were sitting on a love seat -- ah, the irony.

"I thought you had to go to class? Did you lie to me?" he asked pretending to look hurt.

"A little bit..." I responded, still staring at my book the whole time.

"I hope you know lying's bad for your health"
I let out a snort and smiled. My eyes finally tore away from the book and looked into his eyes.

"Finally you look at me, I was starting to think I had a booger in my nose or something..." he said.

"I'm Adam by the way.” He held out his hand.

"Eva"

"Huh...'Adam and Eva', that's quiet a coincidence isn't it?" he said.

"I have to pee," I blurted out, totally killing the moment.

Adam laughed and said he had to get to class. He asked for my number, which caught me off guard. The only time I ever gave my number to a guy was when we did group projects. But when Adam asked for it I didn't think to hesitate.
Throughout the semester Adam and I had gone out to lunches with each other and hung out between classes. Between the both of us he was the most talkative. He always asked weird and random questions that made you think twice about how sane he really was. But, in spite of that, I began to get comfortable around him and I finally broke out of my shell and realized that talking to Adam was easy.

One day we were walking down the deserted track field late in the afternoon when he asked me the most insane question I had ever heard.

"Do you think the world is going to end?" he asked with a serious tone

"Uh, no. The world is a big circle. Circles never end, they just keep going round and round an--"

"No seriously," he responded, cutting me off "you don't ever think that God might come and there might be a sort of judgment day?"

"No, because I don't believe in those theories. I think it's all bullshit. It seems like the media is trying to syndicate my life with all of that hoo ha. The thought of Global Warming makes me laugh, and don't even get me started on Pryus's and Hybrid's--" I stopped mid-sentence and realized that Adam drove a Hybrid.

"Well, no offense to you, if that's what you believe in then power to ya," I quickly responded, hoping to erase my verbal mistake.

"You honestly don't think that there’s the slightest chance that the world might end?" he asked, ignoring my previous statement.

"Honestly, no. Are you one of those super religious people? Is that why you're asking me this?"

"No, I just noticed you've lost faith...a little bit" he said looking down at his feet as if he knew what he was saying was completely ridiculous.

"How do you know if I've lost faith or not. And why are we talking about this?"
"God noticed you lost faith, too" he said

At that moment, I thought he was going to hand me a flier with a picture of Jesus on it.

"What does faith have to do with this conversation, I thought you were talking about a cataclysmic event, not some spiritual uplifting..." I snapped back.

"If you had faith, you wouldn't be giving me attitude and snapping back, I'm just saying that you've lost faith, and you of all people cannot lose faith. God notices when people lose touch with their spirituality; he especially notices if YOU lose faith in him. I mean, don't you get it by now...you're a chosen one," he said with a straightforward tone.

This time I couldn't tell if he was bullshitting me.

"'Chosen one'? What the fuck are you talking about, I'm not even Jewish! I don't even know what you’re leading on to. This conversation is really getting me off edge," I responded "can we please change the subject?"

"You're losing faith, Eva, at a great pace too. God is upset and of all people, He doesn't want you to lose faith."

"What are you talking about? Please elaborate because my brain is starting to hurt"
"GOD Eva, I can't believe you're not connecting the dots. I'm Adam. God sent me here to reinstate your faith. He knows that you've lost it ever since your mom died. But I'm here to help you."

I stopped cold in the middle of the track field. Adam told me to sit down and let it all absorb. The cold metal from the bleachers touched my skin and sent a shock through me, but it was no comparison to the shock I was going through at that moment. I didn't understand, as close as Adam and I had gotten over the past few weeks, I never told him about my mothers death and my loss of faith as a result of it. How did he know? I thought it was some sort of cruel joke.

"Look, I know this is a lot to take in..."

No shit

"but we're running out of time," Adam said pointedly.

"What do you mean 'running out of time'?"

"The world is going to end soon, and if you don't gain your faith back, you can't come back with me. I want you to come back with me," he said staring at me with anxious eyes.

"Come back with you where?! You're not being clear at all. How do you know the world is going to end, and where are we going?" I asked with an enraged and demanding tone in my voice.

"God is finally giving me redemption. If I save you, we both get to go back to Eden. You're my Eve"

"But my name's Eva”

"Now you're Eva, but in your past life you were Eve. And now God is predicting that you are going to sin, and I have to save you before you do anything. Before the world ends and it's too late.

I was caught in a state of doubt. What if Adam was lying to me? But then again, why would anyone lie about something like this. I took a deep breath and shot Adam a look of skepticism.

"I'm not lying to you," Adam said without hesitation. "I can see the doubt in your eyes, you think I'm feeding you bullshit, but I'm not."

"Prove it"

He let out a slight sigh and pulled up his shirt. I couldn't believe it. He didn't have a belly button. I waited a moment, hoping that play dough would fall out of his naval, but nothing fell out.

"Holy shit, you're Adam" I stated in pure amazement

"If you want to state the obvious, then yeah I am," he said amused at my shock.

"Look, you could choose to stay here and play out the rest of your life and end up sinning, or you could regain your faith in God and spend the rest of eternity with me in Eden. It's that easy," he said.

"Easy?! Who said any of this was easy? You're asking me to decide on whether or not I should leave my family and friends and go with you...That isn't easy!" I said screaming at him. "You're also asking me to regain faith in God, which is something I find very hard to do right now seeing how I recently lost my mom. How can I have faith in someone that took the one person I loved away from me?"

"Because that's the way life works. Life, as mean as this may sound, isn't pretty. Wars happen, poverty is inevitable, and people die. That’s just how life is. You're parents can't live forever, and neither can you...unless you come with me to Eden. Don't you want that?" he asked with an eager tone.

"How do I know you're not doing this just so you get to go to Eden. How do I know you're not doing this out of your own selfishness?"

"Because I know you and everything you've been through. You deserve this."

I felt like I was on the verge of crying. I looked around trying to avoid any eye contact with Adam. Instead I looked down at the grass.

"I...can't. I have too much to live for. If God does exist, then he should understand that"

"You're telling me that you would give up Eden for the life you're living right now?"
I nodded.

"Are you sure you want this? Because I can't come back if you change your mind. I only have one shot at this."

"I'm positive”

At that moment a tear strolled down Adam’s cheek. He knew he failed at his attempt to reinstate my faith.