I've been kind of a downer lately. I'm not going through an "emo" phase where I hate the world but i'm just in a phase where I don't like my living situation. I've lived at home all my life and this is the first time I'm ever going to leave it unwillingly/willingly. The reason I say unwillingly is because I never thought my life would come to a point where I wouldn't want to wake up to/spend the day with the people that I live with. Mainly the reason is because I don't have the greatest family ties. So, being forced out of my own home where I grew up isn't the greatest situation. On the other hand, I am willingly leaving because I want to live a normal life where I can wake up and feel good about myself. I noticed that after talking to one of my oldest friends today, that I haven't laughed a good laugh in a really, really long time. Knowing myself for 21+ years, I can say that this isn't a good sign. I've also been super glued to my bed to the point where I don't want to do the usual things I once looked forward to (i.e. going out with friends, going to the beach, taking photographs).
The only times I smile wholeheartedly is when I'm anywhere but home, which is wrong because my house used to be my refuge from whenever I was having a bad day. It pains me to leave because my dad and his wife are getting old and aren't in the best of shape. I feel like I'm abandoning them but at the same time I feel like my life and happiness depend on me moving out. People I know say that I share too much private info with the public, and if you think so, than I'm sorry and you should just stop reading this and carry on with what you were doing. I just needed to vent before midterms, I guess.
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